Monday, November 29, 2010

"Clark, is your house on fire?"

Isn’t Christmas Vacation the best Christmas movie ever? We love it and insist on watching it to kick off the season every year. However, that’s not what this post is about. Adam and I have one disagreement per year and it concerns Christmas decorations outside. Adam strongly believes that I can do anything I want (decoration wise) to the inside of our house as long as he is the chairman of the Outside Decorating Committee. You might be asking why that causes our annual Christmas fight. Most husbands probably don’t care about Christmas decorations at all, BUT my husband is not most husbands. I blame this entirely on D.D. As a child D.D. allowed Big Daddy, Uncle G, and Adam to do ANYTHING they wanted in the yard for Christmas decorations. If you don’t know these fine individuals it really takes so much away from this story. For example, one infamous year they cut a snowman out of plywood, spray painted it, and wrote “Merry Xmas from the Robertson’s” on it. Seriously people, can it get any tackier? Oh yes, it can. There was a slight controversy this weekend when this was brought up…Big Daddy misspelled Robertson’s on the snowman…which is another story entirely. Another year they pulled a truck out by the road and hung Christmas lights from it! And not just any lights…BIG COLORED lights! You see, I much prefer elegant clear lights draped in garland with wreaths on all windows outside my house…and for emphasis I like spot lights pointed on all the wreaths. But according to Adam this is boring…which I understand entirely considering he was allowed to decorate a motorized vehicle with Christmas lights as a child. So you see why this is D.D.’s fault, right? If she had not allowed such activities during his childhood he wouldn’t even think of doing this to our home. The first Christmas that we were married he had thought up a plan to have a circular driveway go around our house where all sorts of decorations would be on display. For those of you who remember the house in Talladega that did this exact thing when we were growing up….Those people are Adam’s role models. He wanted to put the letter R in big colored lights on our roof that year. Can you say getto fabulous? And, of course, there was that second Christmas that we were married that Adam purchased a blow up something (I can’t remember exactly…possibly a Santa Clause) at Dollar General (can’t you just envision the quality). Unfortunately, the second night it was in our yard the motor blew up on it. So sad. I can not confirm or deny what happened to the motor, but as you can imagine it was blamed on me. It rained that night and I am just certain that had something to do with it. So last week when we started dragging out all of the Christmas decorations the discussion was started as to what we would be doing to the outside of the house…., “Same as last year, Adam. Garland, wreaths, and spotlights.” This is when I was notified that an Outside Decorating Committee had been formed and apparently I wasn’t invited to be on this committee….much less a voting member! He, the sole member of the committee, had decided to put a boat by the road and hang lights on it! A motion had been made at the last committee meeting to purchase another blow up Santa and he was going to sit in the boat and fish! Thank goodness we didn’t have enough extention cords or electrical outlets for such a fine Christmas display. So ultimately, my sweet husband, whose goal in life is to please his wife, hung my wreaths, garland and spotlights. All I can say is…victory is sweet. However, I am aware that the dreadful day is coming that Reese too will be on the committee and I will be way out numbered. And on that day as you drive by our house and there is a truck covered in large colored lights, a blow up Santa fishing from a boat, a script R on our roof, and every blow up Christmas decoration ever made…please just know that I am inside hidden under a pillow and embarrassed as all get out! But for now…the committee was forced to regroup and decorate accordingly…


I really don't think the picture does it justice...or maybe wreaths, garland, and spot lights are boring...but I'll never admit it! Please notice our makeshift gate at the bottom of the stairs...that's to keep the dogs from eating the two Christmas trees...talk about tacky!

2 comments:

  1. This is the funniest story EVER! I love Christmas Vacation, too. I enjoying reading all your posts-you're hilarious! I'm glad you you won this one and got to put up the decorations you wanted. I looks beautiful.

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  2. Love it! My spotlight's bulb died, so I haven't gotten mine up yet! Dusty likes the old man riding the Harley blow-up that he saw at Lowe's...that one got vetoed for sure!

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