Yep, we're preggo again.
If there is one thing I have learned from having a miscarriage it is that you can't even sneeze without somebody declaring you are sick; therefore, you MUST be pregnant. Actually nobody actually said that to my face, but the look on their faces? The look said it all. Or Adam could actually be right (for once) in that he says I have been overly paranoid about the whole thing and that nobody had a clue, but we left his Granny's a few weeks ago and I told him we were going to just have to come on out with it because I saw his momma looking at my stomach and I know she knows. To which he dramatically rolled his eyes and called me out for being crazy. Whatever.
So the story goes like this. Last summer I started telling God how we might want another baby, but I didn't know for sure because what would we do with another baby and my Reese E Cup is very needy of her mother and I couldn't even imagine being pregnant again because, God, you know I am the worst pregnant girl EVER. Oh, and God you also know I have only built up 8 sick days and there IS NO WAY I can have a baby during the school year because, oh my gracious, IT WOULD COST ME A FORTUNE WITH NO SICK DAYS.
And basically I said all that plus some to God and it was a big, long run on sentence because it freaked me out that we were even considering another baby (mainly because I haven't forgotten how horribly painful the whole epidural experience was). Plus I am about as Type A as you can get and I HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL OF THINGS. So, yeah, God if you could give us a baby...oh....say....the end of May? Yeah, now that would work out perfectly.
And then I went on and on about how much less stressful it was when WOOPS! I accidentally got pregnant with Reese. Shook me to the core, almost made me have a nervous breakdown, but so much less stressful than actually planning to have a baby.
When talking to God about it I would always end my run on sentence with, "but whatever you want is good with me" when in reality, no it was not good with me. I wanted it my way. Then all the sudden we were pregnant and it was perfect because it was due the day after school got out and it would take minimal sick days and so on. Then I got a reminder that I have no control whatsoever over my life, and little miss Type A was forced to sit down and take inventory.
Through that whole experience I realized a lot of things. One of the main ones being that my job is not my life and, in reality, it wouldn't be the end of the world to have a baby during the school year. We are by no means "well off," but Adam can pay the bills if I were to go without a few paychecks during a maternity leave. Honestly it was the most liberating feeling to just let go of all those worries that used to be so big, but in the grand scheme of things are so trivial.
After several weeks we agreed that whatever happened happened. If we never got pregnant again that was okay with us. If God wanted us to have another baby, that would be great too. Even if it was during the school year.
So here we are. According to the calculations the baby is due November 11th. According to the size of the baby it is due November 3rd. So I'm a little over 12 or 13 weeks, depending on how you look at it. Because I know how miserable I will be by the 11th, I'm going with the 3rd;)
I am still the worst pregnant girl ever. It has been very up and down with this pregnancy. It was up and down with Reese as well. I am currently going to the doctor once a week (2 weeks in a row I went twice because I have spotting issues.) The upside is that we get a sonogram every week just to be sure everything is okay. That's what happens after you have a miscarriage after the first trimester. When people tell me how much they love being pregnant, I want to poke their eyes out. (Unless you are one of the people who have told me that, and in that case I would never ever want you poke your eyes out.) Pregnancy is stressful for me. I had several miscarriage scares with Reese, then had a "late" miscarriage, then I've had lots of miscarriage scares with this one. It all equals up to a girl who is highly paranoid and more than a touch crazy. Big Daddy nailed it years ago when there was some discussion of my fear of needles/hospitals: "You can look at her and tell she isn't going to be a good baby maker." Good call, Big Daddy. Good call.
I am still the worst pregnant girl ever. It has been very up and down with this pregnancy. It was up and down with Reese as well. I am currently going to the doctor once a week (2 weeks in a row I went twice because I have spotting issues.) The upside is that we get a sonogram every week just to be sure everything is okay. That's what happens after you have a miscarriage after the first trimester. When people tell me how much they love being pregnant, I want to poke their eyes out. (Unless you are one of the people who have told me that, and in that case I would never ever want you poke your eyes out.) Pregnancy is stressful for me. I had several miscarriage scares with Reese, then had a "late" miscarriage, then I've had lots of miscarriage scares with this one. It all equals up to a girl who is highly paranoid and more than a touch crazy. Big Daddy nailed it years ago when there was some discussion of my fear of needles/hospitals: "You can look at her and tell she isn't going to be a good baby maker." Good call, Big Daddy. Good call.
We had planned to wait till after 14 weeks to tell, but it got too hard. I was having to leave work a lot without stating a reason. Plus I'm big. It could no longer be hidden.
Here is a comprehensive list of the sonograms we have had. We would appreciate any prayers you could throw our way.
April 2nd
April 5th
April 15 and 16 (yeah this was a crazy 2 days that involved having 8 viles of blood drawn and a shot...you can imagine how happy I was)- but look at those legs in the bottom picture
April 22- hands over face
April 5th
April 15 and 16 (yeah this was a crazy 2 days that involved having 8 viles of blood drawn and a shot...you can imagine how happy I was)- but look at those legs in the bottom picture
April 22- hands over face
April 29th- hands over face again
Let the record show that it is a girl. I know without a shadow of a doubt because I feel exactly how I felt with Reese. Plus I've always had this feeling we would have a house filled with little girls because Adam is a kind and gentle man who will handle daughters in their teenage years with grace and humility. I, on the other hand, will be sitting in the corner crying about how we will ever survive all the drama. Reese claims, "It's a baby. It's a bruder." Lord willing we shall see sometime around the end of May.