What's today? (Crickets)
Is there anything special about today? 3rd and a half day at my new job. You know I was sick half a day on my first day.
Yes, Adam. I know. Isn't there something else about today? It's our anniversary.
How long have we been married? 4 years
Just checking to make sure you remembered.
What was your life like before you met me? I was beatin' honey's off of me left and right.
What has been your favorite marital moment in the past 4 years? When I came in from being on the road all week and you had a butter knife, pepper spray, and the pistol laying on the night stand. I wondered which one an intruder was going to get first.
Since you told me to ask...what is the funniest comment I've ever made? How did they get all those cars here from Canada? I knew then I would be in charge of helping the kids with geography homework.
I have told you a hundred times that I misspoke. Is that a word? I didn't mean Canada. Plus, I'm asking the questions here.
After 4 years what do I do that annoys you? You don't do it so bad now, but when you were pregnant it was terrible. You roll over in my face at night and make a clicking sound with your mouth. And I don't like that you try to put your feet on my legs at night either.
Well it is cold in our house. Which is your fault so deal with it or turn the heat on.
That's all that annoys you? Wait, I'm thinking. It also annoys me that when I'm trying to watch TV you clank around in the kitchen.
How has your life been since we tied the knot? Very eventful. We eat at 5, watch Wheel of Fortune at 6:30, and go to bed at 8. In other words I live with a younger version of my grandmother. Your face lotion even smells like her. I don't know how I keep up with your fast paced lifestyle.
My moisturizer does not smell like a grandmother.
Tell you something else that annoys me. When you sit in the back seat and tell me how to drive.
When did you know that you wanted to marry me? Well, there were a couple of moments. First when we all went camping and you and Stephanie sang every word of Hanks Jr. Blues Man at the top of your lungs. Also the first time we went out to eat and you ate all of your food and then finished off mine. Such a lady.
Something else I don't like. You throw the covers over on my side of the bed and then complain that I steal them.
How nervous were you when you asked my Daddy to marry me? Nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I woke him up from his nap, told him a lie to get him out of the house into the cold to ask for his baby's hand in marriage.
So what are you going to say when some boy asked to marry your baby? Come back when she's 35 and maybe we'll talk.
Looking back on our wedding day what are your thoughts? Beautiful day. (I think he just rolled his eyes when he said that.) I was just praying that I didn't pass out and fall into the lake.
Something else that bothers me. Why can't you keep my socks paired when they are washed? That really bothers me.
Ok, Adam. Can we move on from that question?
Where did we honeymoon? Jackson Hole, WY
How was the flight? Well first I had to throw my knife away at security to keep from having to spend the night in the clank.
The clank? Really? That is so redneck.
Do you have me an anniversary card this year? Because last year I didn't get one. Elena, you've reminded me everyday since last year that I didn't get you a card. And yes, I have you a card. I told Siri (his new iphone 4S secretary) to remind me to get a card.
You should be ashamed that you didn't get me a card last year because I was at home tending to your 1 month old.
What do you have planned for our anniversary? I am taking you to a swanky resturant where they don't even put the prices on the menu.
So is that how we determine how "swanky" a resturant is nowadays?
What show? The one I'm watching.
You think your so funny.
(You know what would be really funny? If I was pregnant and I told him right about here. But I'm not.)
What happened to you this weekend? I had one foot in the grave and one on a banana peel.
Elaborate for our nice readers please? It was the Virus of 2011 which was bad, but nothing compared to the Virus of 07. And I would like to take this time to give Adam Harris permission to help raise my baby if I ever face death suddenly again. Please be sure to tell her a story about me everyday when I'm gone.
You do realize you are such a baby when your sick? Reese and I both had the same virus and neither of us begged to go to the ER like you did.