Thursday, October 27, 2011

Anniversary Q&A with the Hubs

The following is an interview I conducted with Adam. What I said is in black and his brilliant words of wisdom are in green.

What's today? (Crickets)

Is there anything special about today? 3rd and a half day at my new job. You know I was sick half a day on my first day.

Yes, Adam. I know. Isn't there something else about today? It's our anniversary.

How long have we been married? 4 years
Just checking to make sure you remembered.

What was your life like before you met me? I was beatin' honey's off of me left and right.

(Rolling my eyes dramatically)

What has been your favorite marital moment in the past 4 years? When I came in from being on the road all week and you had a butter knife, pepper spray, and the pistol laying on the night stand. I wondered which one an intruder was going to get first.

Since you told me to ask...what is the funniest comment I've ever made? How did they get all those cars here from Canada? I knew then I would be in charge of helping the kids with geography homework.

I have told you a hundred times that I misspoke. Is that a word? I didn't mean Canada. Plus, I'm asking the questions here.

After 4 years what do I do that annoys you? You don't do it so bad now, but when you were pregnant it was terrible. You roll over in my face at night and make a clicking sound with your mouth. And I don't like that you try to put your feet on my legs at night either.

Well it is cold in our house. Which is your fault so deal with it or turn the heat on.

That's all that annoys you? Wait, I'm thinking. It also annoys me that when I'm trying to watch TV you clank around in the kitchen.

How has your life been since we tied the knot? Very eventful. We eat at 5, watch Wheel of Fortune at 6:30, and go to bed at 8. In other words I live with a younger version of my grandmother. Your face lotion even smells like her. I don't know how I keep up with your fast paced lifestyle.

My moisturizer does not smell like a grandmother.

Tell you something else that annoys me. When you sit in the back seat and tell me how to drive.

When did you know that you wanted to marry me? Well, there were a couple of moments. First when we all went camping and you and Stephanie sang every word of Hanks Jr. Blues Man at the top of your lungs. Also the first time we went out to eat and you ate all of your food and then finished off mine. Such a lady.

Something else I don't like. You throw the covers over on my side of the bed and then complain that I steal them.

How nervous were you when you asked my Daddy to marry me? Nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I woke him up from his nap, told him a lie to get him out of the house into the cold to ask for his baby's hand in marriage.

So what are you going to say when some boy asked to marry your baby? Come back when she's 35 and maybe we'll talk.

Looking back on our wedding day what are your thoughts? Beautiful day. (I think he just rolled his eyes when he said that.) I was just praying that I didn't pass out and fall into the lake.

Something else that bothers me. Why can't you keep my socks paired when they are washed? That really bothers me.

Ok, Adam. Can we move on from that question?

Where did we honeymoon? Jackson Hole, WY

How was the flight? Well first I had to throw my knife away at security to keep from having to spend the night in the clank.

The clank? Really? That is so redneck.

Do you have me an anniversary card this year? Because last year I didn't get one. Elena, you've reminded me everyday since last year that I didn't get you a card. And yes, I have you a card. I told Siri (his new iphone 4S secretary) to remind me to get a card.

You should be ashamed that you didn't get me a card last year because I was at home tending to your 1 month old.

What do you have planned for our anniversary? I am taking you to a swanky resturant where they don't even put the prices on the menu.

So is that how we determine how "swanky" a resturant is nowadays?

If we ever have another baby how do you prefer I tell you? Not after I eat a footlong. And wait till after my show goes off.

What show? The one I'm watching.

You think your so funny.

(You know what would be really funny? If I was pregnant and I told him right about here. But I'm not.)

What happened to you this weekend? I had one foot in the grave and one on a banana peel.

Elaborate for our nice readers please? It was the Virus of 2011 which was bad, but nothing compared to the Virus of 07. And I would like to take this time to give Adam Harris permission to help raise my baby if I ever face death suddenly again. Please be sure to tell her a story about me everyday when I'm gone.

You do realize you are such a baby when your sick? Reese and I both had the same virus and neither of us begged to go to the ER like you did.

Thanks for your time. I love you.

I love you, too.

On the news last night I saw where a study had been conducted and the results showed that smiling and laughing added time to a persons life. If that's true then Adam has added years to mine.

Happy Anniversary A-master! I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

13 Months (better late than never)

Reese was 13 months old on Thursday, but I was in no shape to post anything. The virus has all but made a clean sweep at our house. Meaning that Adam is the only one who hasn't gotten it. Yet. Rest assured though he will get it next week when he starts his new job. (Also the first time in his adult life that he has ever had to think about sick days. It's going to be an ugly reality for him.)

Let me take a moment before we move into the 13 month post to publicly say that Adam is a changed man since the babe came along. He not only continued to live with us while we were BOTH sick, he even played the part of janitor. When Reese was sick he said that I was the nurse and he was the clean up crew. When I was sick he was both. Good, good man I tell ya.

At 13 months Reese:

Weighs: 18.8 lbs

Height: Roughly 28 inches

Has 2 teeth on the bottom and just cut the top right one this week.

She can say: mama, dada, bye, Adam (without the m), and something that sounds a lot like three. Adam holds her and counts 1,2,3 and leans her back like he is going to drop her. After the gazillionth time he did this he didn't say 3, but she said "th" and leans her head back laughing.

Isn't a good eater. Even before the virus hit us this week she wasn't a good eater. Now it is worse. She absolutely has to have milk. Not juice. Not watered down Sprite. Milk. And she will whine non stop until we put milk in her cup.

When she wants something she leans toward it and stretches her arm out in that direction and whines until we get what she wants.

Her favorite thing to do is pretend to talk on the phone. The following are commonly used as a phone: the remote, her paci, notepads, and baby food tops.

When driving down the road she likes for us to play the ipod on our phones and she holds it to her ear to hear it better.

Can blow kisses and give high 5's.

Loves to get into the cabinets and pull everything out.

Goes to sleep sitting in our lap at night watching TV. (Please tell me this isn't going to rot her brain.)

Got her first fat lip a few weeks ago after she fell into the side of the tub. It was a pretty dramatic moment for me once I saw that she was bleeding from her mouth. When she fell her bottom teeth cut her top gums causing them to bleed also. I panicked and called MeeMaw for backup. (By the way did you know that the past tense of panic adds a 'k' because I had no idea. Clearly, I lead a sheltered life. So does Adam because he is still arguing that adding a 'k' isn't correct.)

Had her finger pricked for the first time yesterday. We ended up at the doctors office because she was still a sick little baby. She has not been herself all week and I was afraid she was going to get dehydrated. When the doctor walked toward her and she started screaming it was confirmed that she in fact is my child.

Thankfully, today she is back to her normal busy self!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Christmas village was not nice to us

It all started on Friday. I came THIS close to having a pie smashed in my face at the pep rally. I really can't explain why this tragic event almost came to pass, but my jar was filled to the brim with $42.99 by kids I don't even teach. I don't really know what this says about me, and quiet frankly, I don't want to know. I went to Fred's and did myself a favor by purchasing a shower cap. Thankfully a super nice local business owner stepped up at the last second and donated $300 to the Muscular Dystrophy Association if the coaches would take a pie in the face instead of the unlucky 3 teachers with the most money in their jar. Y'all, I still can't get over it. Why would kids I don't even teach treat me this way? I know why the ones I teach put their money in my jar. It's either because they love me or hate me. Y'all let me dream and think it's because they love me. So anyway, when I dodged that bullet I knew that this weekend was going to be touch and go. I was right.

Friday night we dined with D.D., Big Daddy, and Uncle G. And let me tell you about a girl who loves her Uncle G.

Saturday we met up with Addison and her Momma and MaKenna and her Momma for Christmas Village in Montgomery. We are going to give these girls the option to be BFFs at first, but in a few years if it doesn't look like that is working out then we are going to force the matter.

And Lord bless Krystal she had to throw away MaKenna's pants right out of the Christmas village gate. She had a diaper that was so bad it got changed on the trunk of the car and there are not words to describe what when on, so here's a picture. (And honestly, I think this picture says so much about Krystal. She is laughing histerically in a moment that most new momma's would fall a part.)

That diaper was followed shortly by a throwing up incident that was not limited to Krystal friend who was along for the trip (who, by the way, does not have children and I feel certain that we turned her off from ever having them.) and a jewelry display that happened to be near by. I am pretty sure you can only appreciate having a sick baby in public if you've had a sick baby in public. In which I have not, but I am pretty sure your baby getting sick on a jewelry display at Christmas village will rank among some of the stories that will be told to her all of her life. And, if by chance, Krystal forgets this occurrence I will have this blog to remind us. (Side note: I think that the words "throw up" should be ban from the English language. They are gross words, however in certain situations they are needed. Therefore, for the duration of this post those 2 words will be known as TU. It makes me feel better.)

And I love this picture. I bet Reese was telling Addison something of the utmost importance.

Don't they look like BFFs? Oh, how their momma's are hoping so.

On the way home Allison talked me into a one lunch stand with Taco Bell (get it? One night stand. One lunch stand. HAHA. I am so delirious from a lack of sleep.). We are not back together, nor will we ever be, but it was nice to get together for lunch.

Saturday and Sunday rocking on just lovely. So lovely that I had no idea the virus was in our near future. Reese was asleep in her bed by 9:00 and I wasn't far behind her. Around 11 I heard Adam scream like a school girl from Reese's room. I jumped out of the bed in a state of panic that almost made me fall down. Sweet little Reese E Cup had TU in her bed. Not once, but twice. It was so sad. She cried and cried. I think it was the panic in her Daddy's voice at the thought of having to clean up after her that caused her to break into hysterics. I thought for sure it was over so I gave her a bath and put her in new PJs. Such a rookie mistake. She continued to be sick until 3:00 in the A.M. She slept in our bed with so I have no doubt we will be coming down with the plague at any moment. (Dear Jesus, please let it be me that gets it and not Adam for you know that he can't handle the TUs. Amen)

I went back and forth with myself all night trying to decide whether to take a day off or not. I decided to bite the bullet and we stayed home on Monday. I am so glad I did. She was more clingy that normal and wanted me to hold her while she slept all day. It was pitiful. She still has no interest in her toys so I know she still isn't feeling 100%. And I could live my whole life without her ever having the TUs again.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The only thing that stays the same...

Is that everything changes. Personally, I loath change. Despise it in most cases (i.e. our current administration)(but Lord knows I don't want this to be political). It makes me nervous when I get out of my routine. I am a very boring person. But this change is certainly for the better.

But this isn't about me. This is about the husband.

Adam turned in his 2 week notice Monday. (I know what you are thinking. Your thinking that we will resign from a job in a minute seeing how I resigned from mine a few short months ago.) (Used in this way "minute" is C'burg for fast.)(Again, you are welcome for the vocabulary lesson.)

Anyway, I've never talked much about his job so you may be wondering what he does/did. Or you may not be wondering, but I'll give you the quick version.

Adam is/was a sales rep for a local cabinet company. Actually he sold for 2 local cabinet companies. This is the same thing that Big Daddy does so naturally after graduating from Auburn in 2005 he also got into the industry. Now if memory serves you then you remember that the economy was rocking right along in 2005. I know it's hard to remember that because it has been all doom and gloom for several years now. Matter of fact it has been doom and gloom since somewhere around 2007- the exact year we got married and actually depended on his income.

Anyway Adam mainly sold Tru Wood cabinets in his territory which was North and South Carolina. Yeah, WAY away from home. WAY AWAY. When the housing market was good this wasn't a big deal, but then the doom and gloom recession hit us and BAM the housing market took a nose dive. Plus, if you've just tuned in, we had the sweet Reese E Cup last year and Adam traveling so much was a big negative.

Side story: I will forever remember when Reese was 1 week old and Adam had to leave for NC to meet with a customer who just couldn't wait. It was the same day we had her newborn pictures made and my sister had to drive us. Of course, it was probably the RAGING hormones but I was SO annoyed that he had to leave us that week. Since that day I have pretty much prayed daily for him a new job closer to home.

And there Jesus went. Amazing me once again at how he can make things happen.

My friend Kelli notified me that a sales position was opening with the company that she is the office manager for. So Adam applied, interviewed, and got the job all within a 1 week span. So Adam will now be working for Lincare out of Roanoke selling medical device (mainly oxygen and nebulizers) to doctors in his territory. The best part is that his territory is Clay County, Randolph County, LaGrange, West Point, and Heflin. And for getting the hubs closer to home I am forever grateful to Kelli. (Who, by the way, I noticed is "Boss Lady" in his cell phone.)

Adam loves sales. If he had to sit in an office everyday he would go crazy. He loved his old job, but it was time for a change. I personally think he is going to be a raging success at this new job, but I'm a little partial.

And how ironic is it that I did this same exact job out of the Anniston office way back in 2008? So ironic. The only reason I left the job was because somebody waved the possibility of being off all summer in front of my face, and no way was I giving up that chance. Thankfully, Adam isn't as motivated by time off as I am.

Anyway, this isn't about me. And good gracious if that was the quick version I'd hate to know what the long version is.

So that's my big announcement. I hate I kept you in suspense, Ollie. And I hate that I disappointed at least a couple of you by not being pregnant.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Christopher Columbus you are a friend of mine

Last week we made the highly spontaneous decision to go to Pigeon Forge for the Columbus Day/fall break weekend. (If there is one thing I am not good at it is spontaneity. It makes me nervous.) We googled around and found out that their was a 16 acre fall festival and no Elena I know would turn down the chance to see 16 acres of funnel cakes and crafts. Plus we saw that Twiggy the water skiing squirrel would be making an appearance. Now what kind of people would we be to deny our baby the opportunity to see Twiggy?

Thursday morning we asked Reese if she wanted to go to the mountains, but she continuously shook her head no. She continued to do that all weekend. Then she shook her head no when we asked if she was ready to go home.

So Thursday after school we struck out with D.D., Big Daddy, and Uncle G. for the 5 hour trip. Reese slept for about 2 hours. Thank you Heavenly Father for that blessing.

And here is where I have to tell you a tale of cabin sadness. Upon arrival to the lovely Western Sky 2 bedroom cabin we discover there is no water. We are all about a trip to get closer to nature during the fall season but lets don't get carried away. Unfortunately we went ahead and unloaded our stuff because we assumed that everything would work itself out and yada, yada, yada. (We all know the old saying about assuming things. It's true.) We went on to pay dearly for that nap she took on the way up because at 1:00 AM I was singing everything from Jesus Loves Me to I'll Fly Away trying to get her to go to sleep. There was an unfortunate moment that Adam even sang a little Ice Ice Baby which made Reese and I both cry for mercy. Friday morning Plumber Mike came to work on the highly complicated water system (also called a well/well pump) and the corporate decision was made that we had to move cabins. But we didn't know all of that until later in the day, and people, there was a fall festival that wasn't going to wait. So we had no choice. We all had to wash our hair in the hot tub. You heard me. The Clorox, germ filled hot tub. Here's Uncle G. in action.

So after a refreshing head dip in the hot tub we headed to the fall festival. And oh a fall festival it was. We ate pizza, and BBQ, and chicken sandwiches, and funnel cakes and had ourselves a grand ole time.

MeeMaw made Reese this outfit which was perfect for the fall festival. The only problem was that it felt more like August than October.

The moment we had all been waiting for......drum roll please.....Twiggy the water skiing squirrel. There was much anticipation for the big moment that Twiggy would arrive.

And then there he was. Life jacket and all.

After that we moved on to the rest of the festival.

When we got back to the cabin we loaded our things and moved on to cabin #2. It had water which was important, but I was forced to watch Auburn get beat on a 19 inch screen. Which honestly I saw all I needed to see in those 19 inches. Cabin #2 had a fantastic view so it made it all worth it. Plus they gave us a free nights stay for the inconvience.

Saturday we went through Cades Cove because Adam was determined that he was going to see a bear. And we were THIS much to late. One had just gone into the woods.

We also did a little shopping at the outlets where Reese got a pair of kicks to grow into. And, in the words of my niece, how about these shorty short pants? By the time her clothes fit her they are to short. I am going to predict that this is going to be a reoccuring problem in years to come.

Several times during the trip my passengers looked like this. Reese talked no the phone while her Daddy slept. She doesn't limit her phone talking to phones only. She has also been seen talking on remote controls, shoes, and spatulas.

She took 2 naps on the way home and then slept all night Sunday night. It was lovely. Also on the way home we did get to see a bear in a tree. We meaning me because Adam was on the wrong side of the car to see it so he missed it. It was a sad turn of events for him.

Please stay tuned to The Simple Life later this week for an announcement. No, I am not pregnant. You might say that you wouldn't have thought that, but you sooooooooooo would have. :)

Monday, October 3, 2011

Fall festivals and glowing jammies

It's October and fall festivals are running rampant. And, y'all, nothing makes my heart go pitter patter like knowing I have a fall festival to attend. So on Saturday Octoberfest was where we could be found. Myself, my girl, MeeMaw, and D.D. started the day by dinning at Shoney's for breakfast because nothing speaks fall like a buffet filled to the brim with high calorie/sugar food items. Plus I personally love Shoney's, but Adam refuses to eat there because something about a roach in his sweet tea 24 years ago....and blah blah blah.... I'm not saying that it didn't happen and I'm not saying that it did happen, but we all know 4 years old do have themselves quiet the imagination. So with all that being said we left the daddy at home cutting the grass.

I knew from past experience that it was going to be crowded and that I was going to get irritated at one point or another by some momma who brought all 8 of her kids and won't move her stroller out of the walk way while she lights her 4th cigarette. I was not disappointed. But you know, tis' the season. And I am willing to over look a few of our finer citizens in order to get the opportunity to see a dog grooming booth, funnel cakes, Christmas hairbows, 300 pound belly dancers, and cotton candy all in one location. It could be the 8th wonder of the world. By the time it was all said and done I had seen no less than 189 outfits that I wanted MeeMaw to make. Reese had a melt down on the way home like I have never seen before. I had to get her out of her seat at one point because I thought she was going to make herself sick crying so hard. This wasn't even the worst part, but you get the idea....

Friday afternoon while we were waiting for Adam to get home I put Reese's new/first pair of kicks on her and we went out to play in her playhouse. MeeMaw, although we appreciate you getting these for her she does not feel the same. It's almost like they put her into shock because she won't walk or move in them. So funny!

(Do y'all see what I see in this picture? I see years and years of arguments at our house over that hair of hers. Y'all it's a hot mess in the back.)

Friday night we went on our monthly grocery trip. I'm not kidding this time- I am never taking Adam again. Buying groceries for a whole month is stressful enough without the play by play commentary of every item I put in the buggy, and where does all this white trash come from, and how Wal-Mart never ceases to amaze him and blah blah blah...) You would think by now he wouldn't be suprised.

Reese got herself some snazzy glow in the dark jammies which she changed into in the car because there was no way she would be awake when we got home. They glowed in the dark all night long. Know how I know that? Because she was in our bed from 12:30 on and that little pumpkin face shinned until the last time I checked at 4 A.M.

But that was okay because I have a hard time sleeping the night before the first fall festival of the season anyway;)