First of all, for Christmas this year I want Adam and I to give each other a new mattress. Why a new mattress you might ask. Well you see we have a queen size that has been suitable for the two of us for the last three years, but I can’t see how we will fit Reese in between us when she gets scared in a couple of years. Yes, I admit without reservation that she will be allowed to sleep with us when she has a bad dream, a bad day at daycare, or for no reason at all. I know this is against all advice of doctors, veteran parents etc…but this is just the lengths having a baby has caused me to go to.
At 6 weeks old I am still checking her breathing through the night. She is only getting up once a night now (knock on wood), but I am up way more times than that checking for air. Maybe when she goes to college I will stop checking on her at night, but I have my doubts about it happening them. And I guess while I am confessing I will admit this too….I insist on having a night light plugged in so that I can see her face during the night. I know, I know…I am CRAZY!
I absolutely cannot imagine her sleeping in a different room than ours. I dread the day that we decide that she needs to sleep in her crib! I am sure I will stare at the monitor and not sleep a wink when that horrific day is upon me! And for the record, I think Adam thinks she should already be in her crib. Yeah, but her momma doesn’t think so…and we all know the old saying…if momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy!
If you have seen me in town since her birth I apologize for my appearance. She always has on a cute outfit (or at least in my opinion), but I on the other hand am lucky if my hair has been brushed. Makeup has only touched my face a handful of times in the last six weeks. Honestly, it just takes too long and most of the time I don’t have the energy.
Poop and breast milk consume my thoughts and life. I never knew those two things could cause so much concern!
Ok, so my last confession (for now)…last Friday night Adam came home from work and wanted to go out to eat. I guess you would consider this our anniversary dinner. But he thought that Reese might stay behind…I thought about it for a little while and decided that it would be okay to leave her. Oh how wrong I was! We met D.D. in Lineville and she took Reese home with her. As we approached the designated meeting spot I could feel the anxiety (or whatever) begin to consume me. When she asked if I was okay with leaving her I feel apart…and continued to cry most of the way to Oxford. Adam tried to get me to just go somewhere in Lineville and pick food up and take it to D.D. and Big Daddy’s to eat, but I knew that would make me look even crazier! I had to leave her at some point, right? We were gone for a total of 3 hours and I thought about her every second. It will take divine intervention from the Lord for me to be able to go back to work in a couple of weeks!
If you don’t mind can we keep how crazy I am just between me and you?
And I'll leave you with a few pictures of the reason I am so crazy!
Darlin...you are not crazy! You are a mothers! It's amazing the way we feel about things as a mother. I still have a nightlite in the boys (they are 10 and 7) room so that when I get up to check on them in the middle or the night I can see their faces and touch their chest to make sure they are breathing ok =) (they don't need the night light...Mama does)
ReplyDeleteI hope to get up there next week to see that beautiful princess, you and your mother.
Warning...I am a baby hog and it is hard for me to give them back =)
I know the feeling! Thankfully the first time that we "left" Anna Kate somewhere I was sick as a dog laying on my couch and she had to spend the night with Kyle and his parents at their house. Talk about jumping into the deep end and not knowing how to swim. Not just being away from me, but spending the night!
ReplyDeleteI just want to remind you of our conversation at the beach, "I think that we will leave Reese at home for this coming beach trip." What do you say to that now? lol
I am still crazy too! My boys are 2 and 3 1/2 and I still get up just to check on them in the middle of the night. I also leave the bathroom light on so I can see them and so they won't be scared if they wake up and need me. It just makes me sleep better knowing that they are okay. I can remember how hard it was for me to leave my boys for the first time. I cried too! Eli just spent the night away from home last week. I didn't hardly sleep at all worry about him, but he was having a great time and getting a good nights sleep! I would recommend the new bed. Ben and I have a king size and it is great for us! The boys usually slip into our bed around 5:30 or 6:00 every morning. I know we probably shouldn't let them do this, but that time is priceless to us. I know they will soon think they are too big to need me, so I'm going to enjoy these years while I can! Motherhood makes us all a little crazy! I have done so many things I said I never would!!
ReplyDeleteElena,
ReplyDeleteShe is beautiful and growing so fast. Sophie is eight months old today, and I still check her breathing every night. Yes, it will be so hard for you to come back without her. I know! It does not get easier, but it makes your time with the most precious thing in the world so spectacular. When Reese is eight months and you ask yourself where the time has gone, you will still be concerned with poop and milk; whether breast or formula. Your life will never be the same!